perfect no more!

this is so dumb. the original plan for my birthday celebrations was for myself and my close girlfriends to go to a nice restaurant, get all dressed up, laugh, drink and just generally enjoy eachothers company. i got guilted into expanded my guestlist for 2 reasons. one being RM and the second being JW. both dudes made me feel bad (without them even knowing it) about the fact that there were key people who i wasn't including. by inviting the extra people, it would no longer be a girls night out. it would be girls + boys.

i really wanted to keep it to girls and even out of the 2 extra crews that i had to invite, there were only 2 people who i really wanted there, everyone else i had to invite out of formality. after sending out my birthday plan emails, JW and RM email me back saying they can't make it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was pissed! i don't care if they don't care, actually i'm kinda bummed that RM can't make it...but what pisses me off...is the ONLY reason i changed my plans were because of RM and JW...and now, those 2 fools aren't even coming. so basically, i changed my plans for no reason!

idiots.

but i am no longer in a sour mood - and that is because my stupid project is working! yipee! and as for my dinner, i would now prefer it for only my girls to be there. i hope everyone else bails :)

perfection

i had the perfect birthday :)

i was feeling really bummed out on saturday, but i think a lot of that had to do with the fact that i was really missing 2 of my bestfriends. but things got so good after that. on monday, B called and we spoke on the phone for about 2 hours which made my day. later bubs called me to ask whether or not i wanted to meet up for dinner. i said yes, but then changed my mind about going. i just felt like bumming around the house. but she kinda made me feel guilty and i ended up going and i had such an amazing time. we had dinner, drank wine and just caught up. it was everything i love to do, i was spending time with a close friend, drinking wine (yaye!) and having great food. (good food, good drinks, good people are key to happiness in my life) we hung out until after midnight. i probably got home around 12:30ish, and although i always say i hate getting texts/phone calls right at midnight for my birthday, it kinda made me feel good that so many people were calling and texting around then.

so the actual day i got up a lot later then i had wanted, went and got my haircut...which i thought looked fab-u-lous until i saw some pics. oh well, i don't really care. so after that i got a makeover which looked hot! she did a smokey eye on me, which i can never do myself. after that i went dress shopping and found the perfect dress!!! its so frikking cute, i can't wait to wear it! its a nine west dress, all black...but very frilly and girly...but not too much either. its just perfect for me. after that, my sisters and i went for dinner...and i got flowers! i love getting flowers. and then i came home, and RP came over. hung out for a bit and then we ended up going out for dinner too. (yeah that's 2 dinners in one night...my diet started today) i get home around 10:30ish just in time to see JM peform at the AMA's. then the last few hours of my birthday were spent on the phone and infront of the tv, 2 of my favorite things to do at home.

so all in all, i had an amazing day! i was pleasently surprised by the number of people who remembered it was my birthday and who called to wish me a happy birthday.

now i will morph into super-geek for the next week and a half, and then party hard on my official birthday party. i can't wait to wear my dress!!! i hope that night is as cool as my birthday was.

better

i went for a nice long walk, cleared my head a little. i do feel better. i'm assuming i feel the way i feel because i'm either due for my monthly "visit" OR i'm getting back into the pre-birthday depression mode. or both i suppose.

tonight i feel like going out with my friends, but i'm still in the hammer and they're all still in toronto. i was contemplating even driving down to toronto and then driving back when the night is done, but that's such a mission. i miss a lot of people. i miss B and Bubs. I wish they were close by so i could just go out for drinks with them so i could chat/vent.

i'm so not in the mood to do work today. but i gotta force myself to get something done. i feel very blah.

blahhhhhh

exasperated

i don't know why i feel that way. i did go out last night, it was OK. i mean... i wasn't drunk enough to have a good time in an empty club.

spent a good portion of last night and this morning telling one of my best friends how gorgeous she is, and how the guy she's currently talking to is attracted to her and that guys don't talk to girls if that attraction isn't there. tried to boost up her self esteem, which is lame. i hate that girls need that. i mean i need it too, but we should really just realize what we have and be happy with that.

i got called pathetic by an ex-hijabi last night, due to my lack of experience.

realized i can't have ONE intimite dinner with my closest friends. i have to invite everyone. its all or nothing.

maybe i'm just tired...lack of good sleep.

all dressed up with no where to go

my hair is cute

my outfit is super cute

my face is done.

i want to go out, but go no friends!!!! hahaa...well if i was in toronto i'd be good to go, but i got no friends in the hammer, and i want to go out.

just gotta wait...

*sighs*

i need to meet the boy.