Happy Anniversary!!

I love you blog!!!! :D

It's been 3 (frikking) years since I've started this blog! It's pretty embarrassing to go back and read that my first post was about John Mayer and my obsession with him! My blog wasn't always a public one - and for good reasons!

But for me, this has always been a venue for me to release all my thoughts and feelings, no matter how emotional or crazy they are - its definitely therapeutic.

And thanks to everyone who comes and reads! I know a lot of the stuff I write here is random, but its cool to know that there are people around the world who are interested and can even sometimes relate to what I'm going through :)

And as an ode to my blog, here are some of my favorites:

Family stuff:

Hard times

Hard times 2

Hard times 3

Cancer

Mainstream stuff:

Religious

Opinion on musicians - which is still true today

Stereotypes

Personal struggles/girl stuff/boy stuff:

Feeling ugly

Boy stuff 1

Boy Stuff2

Boy Stuff 3

The "it" factor

Just a select few that I just re-read and it reminds me of where I was when I wrote them, good times and bad times.

I feel like I've been through a lot of shit in my life especially when it comes to my home life and self esteem. But right now...at this very moment, I'm content. I happy about how I feel about myself, my friends and my family. Of course it would be great to have an amazing, super cute man in my life right now...but other then that I'm generally OK with how things are, and that's more then enough for me :)

I really am trying part 2

your profile seams nice

Basic stuff here fellas.

In need of some space

...from certain people in my life. You know when someone isn't in your good books, but you try to look over the small things to be fair and non-judgmental...but eventually those small things end up speaking volumes about someone’s character. Then you realize that you don't even really like this person all that much. You find yourself questioning their loyalty and their intentions.

Every little thing they do gets on your nerves and you realize that having that person in your life isn't a good thing.

That’s how I feel about a certain somebody in my life right now. But she's forcing her way into my group of friends. Calls them 'her friends'. Gets me to take pictures of her with them - as if she belongs there. When really, the only reason they talk to her is because of me. And if I'm questioning our friendship, then what does that make them to her?

I know I probably sound like I'm being overly protective and territorial of my friends, but I'm not. I'm all about amalgamating my friends and having everyone hang out with one another, but I don't like it when people who I don't even really like that much are trying to get chummy chummy with my friends and even have a game plan for it. That gets under my skin. I need to distance myself from this person - she'll be offended, that's for sure. And she'll make it known that I'm being rude by ignoring her. But at this point, I don't really care.

I hate that I introduced her to my friends and now she's clinging onto them because she's got nobody else. I'm letting go.

Question...

Is it ever ok for one of your good guy friends to ask you if its "that time of the month"?

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I really am trying...

So I'm trying my hand at this online dating thing. This time I will stick to it for more then one day. I even got a paid membership! So I have to make use of it while I have it.

I'm trying to stay openminded...and I'm trying not to judge people so quickly, because I'm definately one to write people off after an intial conversation or meeting. But stuff like this really irks me...so the background on this guy is that he has his MBA and is working as a manager in some financial firm.

I received this in an email:

Hope you had a great weekend the weather was beutifull

I'm sorry, I know I don't always do spell check before sending off an email or when writing on my blog. But...beutifull? This dude apparently has an MBA. I know it shouldn't bother me because it's so minor, and I will continue to talk to this guy...but honestly...beutifull??

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Blind?

Ever been in a situation where you find yourself bitching and complaining about something you don't have. Something you want and don't have. I do. I do it all the time.

Then, one day a light bulb goes off (courtesy of a friend pointing out the obvious), and you realize...that you're an idiot. And perhaps what you wanted all along was right there. But you had this "ideal" made up in your head which prevented you from seeing what was standing right infront of you.

But what can I possibly do about it at this point? After all has been said and done?

meh. I was better off not knowing...