just as a heads up

men of the world - when you have been introduced to someone and you are interested in that person, and even have had a phone conversation with that person (after numbers were consensually exchanged)- don't follow up the initial phone conversation with multiple call backs or texts within 24 hours!

what is wrong with guys these days??? either they don't pay women any attention or they smother you to death! why is there no inbetween? or maybe a better question is why am i attracting all these clingy suffocating type men when thats totally not what i want.

I had a phone conversation with this dude last night, and after it, I got one phone call, and by this morning 3 text messages :S

so not cool - he's been cut

Joyce Myers

your overformalization joyce myers approach to transforming this household is really getting on my nerves.

i'm a pretty laid back person - and usually let most things slide unless it really starts to bother me. and because of that, it really annoys me when people voice their iritations over every little thing. some people might think thats constructive but - when it happens in your house every single day it gets mad annoying. but whats worse - is when i bring something up that bothers me, i get told to relax :S

let's see how long i can go...

weird pt deux

is being called hot ever really considered a compliment? in my opinion - no. i don't think i've ever been told i'm hot - i get cute a lot and sometimes pretty...but hot, nooottt so much. so when someone actually says that to me, it actually makes me feel really uncomfortable and akward.

whats worse is getting told that by your vp.

yup.

well not that he told me that i was hot. but he said he's been told by people (who he won't mention the names of) that i'm apparently single and hot. so now, being the insecure geek i am, i'm aware of the fact that directors/managers/vps have made remarks about my appearance - and its not making me any less geeky or insecure. maybe i should take it as a compliment but really - i'd rather not know.

its just so weirrdddd! but i've been told by my male friends, that men asses women on a regular basis - which i guess is fine, but its just strange to think that men do it about me :S

i feel like an idiot for feeling the way i feel

i logically need to stop. but i can't. for some reason, my heart is already in it.

you are not my (fb) friend

a good 6 months ago - i went through my "friends" list on facebook and cut out at least 50% of the people.

now...what i don't understand is...people who i deleted can clearly see that i am no longer their facebook friend, and they are not my facebook friend. and even though this space has been defined in the land of facebook - they still request for me to add them as a friend - after i've had them removed!!!

why would you want to keep in touch with someone who you have no intention of keeping in touch with?? people are so stupid. like i understand its just facebook - but i'm a pretty private person. i know you wouldn't get that impression if you're reading my blog - however this blog is annonoymous - so i don't really think it counts. but ya - i'm a private person, and i don't want random people who i barely remember and don't want to keep in touch with to be on my friends list!

i should make 2 accounts, one for my real friends and one for my fb friends :\

weird

i think its weird that people make such an effort to keep in touch with me or become friends with me. i don't mean to come off as sounding like i think i'm the coolest person in the world and everyone wants to be my friend - because its quite the opposite. i'm a pretty big geek and have been very insecure about everything (my looks & my personality) for the most part of my life. so just to think that people outside of my core group of friends want to hang out with me is just a bit weird to me.

i dunno - i know i'm being stupid...just thinking in blog...

slow motion is better than no motion

i hate him for being so cute
i hate knowing so much good stuff about him
i hate that he knows nothing about me
i hate him for being shy

i haven't been this way about a boy in ages. and iiiiiiii HATE it!

:|

OK pt deux

alright - i recognize i was venting last night and because of that i probably came across as sounding crazy.

*sighs*

i guess the thing is that i know a lot about him already through my friend, but she's better friends with me then she is with him (they're basically acquaintances). but she's heard stuff about him through our mutual friends and relays that information back to me - and therefore i know a whole lot more about him then he knows about me. so i think i'm already 5 steps ahead in our "relationship" whereas he barely knows who i am.

therefore he has absolutely no want or need to respond to me (in a timely manner) and thats alright, because he doesn't know who i am at all. and all the conversations he is having on fb is with cousins/relatives/good friends :$ which makes me feel even stupider (yes - stupider) for getting so wound up.

i need to get real. but for some reason when it comes to boys - its so hard to do that.

but i will try.

OK.

i wasn't going to blog about this! but now i have a feeling i'm getting wound up for no reason - and i need to let this out of my system...and what better place then my blog.

SO. there was this guy who one of my friends met a few months ago and immediately she thought of me hooking up with him. i wasn't really up for it initially - because he didn't really seem like my type - but then i figured i have nothing to lose - right? except for my MIND!!!

ugh. i hate that i'm doing this - but i inevitably cannot stop!

we were introduced about 3 weekends ago - had a brief but casual 10 minute conversation and it went well. i think he's cute, he's ambitious and generally seems like an overall good guy.

so then last weekend i see him again - but our conversation got cut short because someone else needed to speak to him about something. and then i just ended up talking to other people and i ended up leaving - so we weren't able to talk.

after that *I* added him to facebook - because all i really want is to get to know him better as a person - and i figured instead of maybe being able to speak to him for a few minutes at the next gathering, i could start on FB and then hopefully we could start meeting up face to face. so that was the plan anyways. so he messaged me on facebook and i messaged him back...that was LAST WEEK! and since then - he's still been on facebook. i can see him having wall-to-wall conversations with people, but he hasn't replied to ME. stalkerish tendencies? ya. i already know.

THEN - this past weekend i was talking to some people and HE WALKED RIGHT BY ME! i was actually going to stop him to say hello - but he just kept on going! he totally TOTALLY walked right by me without even looking my way! WTF!

then after that i did kind of see him around, and i walked right by him (i was walking towards his back - he was facing the other way talking to someone) and i left. i'm pretty sure he saw me leave - and i figured - maybe that would prompt him to message me back on facebook - but STILL NOTHING...and STILL he's having conversations with other people!

now - if i didn't have a genuine interest in this dude, then this wouldn't phase me at all. but the thing is - i do have a genuine interest in him. and i do see potential in him being a super cool, normal brown guy - which is rare! so now i'm just like OK - is he clearly not into me because he snubbed me this past weekend and isn't responding to me on fb?

what the fa...why the fa am i getting so worked up? i don't know! can he by like shy around people that he doesn't really know that well - and his existing fb conversations are with good friends that he's used to responding to? did he snub me because he genuinely didn't see me this past weekend? am i just making excuses for him? am i looking into things too much - and its wayyyy too premature for that? ok - i know the answer to that one. yes i am looking into things wayyy too much. i know i am.

but. i don't know. i kinda feel like this idiot has some potential and things are not going at the pace i wanted them to go. do i throw in my towel already?

grr.

family tree

i've been thinking about getting a family tree going. its always interesting to know where you came from but so easy to lose track of it. i figure i should do it now while 3/4 of my grandparents are still around! i don't know how open they would be about talking about all their relations - because i know there's some open wounds around that topic. but i'm hoping they won't get too offended about my curiousity.

i think i'll start by talking to my dads parents who live close by. i might have to get my cousin in india to work on my grandma.

lets see how this unfolds :)