so i've tried my hand at online dating and its proven to be a very unsuccessful mechanism for me to meet new (& normal) people thus far. i have yet to meet up with someone who i've met online and below is an example why.
To set it up, this dude initiated contact with the usual formalities (whats up etc) and then starts talking about how the weather here has been so crappy. i responded agreeing with his opinion...and this is what he sends back to me:
Hey
Believe it or not, but friday was the firts day of Summer and look at it how our weekend was...I cant' beleieve our kismet! We got hit hard with winter and now getting screwed for our summer whihc we sooo deserve. Well, I guess I shold stop complaining and atleast be happy that my grass is actually greeen!
now. i will be the first to admit that i am one to judge. and getting a message like the one above deters me from responding. as minor as his spelling mistakes might be - i still lose interest.
i know i bitch on this blog a lot about being single - so maybe i should be more laid back and not harp on small things like spelling (or topic of e-conversation). so i will message him back and see where this ends up.
will keep you posted.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
patience
when i decide i want something out of life or need something in my life - i need it at that instance. and when it doesn't happen, then i worry or feel sorry for myself. i always think to myself that i do have faith that all things will work out when they're meant to work out - but then i totally contradict myself by expecting stuff to happen immediately and then get bummed out when they don't.
i don't believe you can leave everything entirely up to faith, karma or destiny. i do believe that you have to take the initiative to make things happen for yourself, but at the same time - if its not meant to work out - you'll know. you can't just sit back and expect things to happen. but when looking at certain aspect of life - like marriage, education, career - you have to work for it...but if something is meant to work out then it always will.
and i mean, i of all people am living proof of that. i screwed up big time in my first year of university - but i got through everything. and now, if i hadn't screwed up i wouldn't have the job i have now and i wouldn't of met the amazing group of friends that i have either.
i just need to remind myself that everything does happen for a reason...and just because i want a piece of my life to fall into place now, i have to keep faith that things will eventually fall into place...with my own effort.
i mean even look at school - its not like i got through relying on faith that i would pass all my exams...obviously i had to work for it and it did work out! and same with my career - i didn't just have faith that i would land the perfect job (*knock on wood*) - i had to work for it and even work at a shitty job until the perfect job showed up. and it HAS to be the same with men. there has to be something good out there for me, i need to make an effort to find - but it will fall into place.
i just find myself feeling sorry for myself sometimes because i'm single (as usual) and i haven't met a guy who i would consider serious boyfriend potential in a long time. and i look around and i see the couples and i hear all the stupid love songs that are out there, and it makes me feel sorry for myself. i guess thats the case in any situation though. i for sure felt sorry for myself when i was screwing up in school and same with when i couldn't land the right job...but it did work out. and based on history i have to keep faith that the missing piece of my life will work out as well. i have to stop feeling sorry for myself. i need to make more of an honest effort and keep faith that things will work out the way they're meant to work out.
i've always always been an impatient person - in every aspect. waiting for anything gets on my nerve unless i'm not in a rush. and i've always been in a rush. i've wanted to finish school off asap, i wanted the right job lined up for myself asap, i wanted a good salary and a promotion asap, and even with men...at this point in my life (and i've felt this before) i feel like i want a man - even a specific person at times - and i want it now. i have to work for it. i have to work on myself and work on the situation....and then have faith.
ramble ramble.
i'm out.
i don't believe you can leave everything entirely up to faith, karma or destiny. i do believe that you have to take the initiative to make things happen for yourself, but at the same time - if its not meant to work out - you'll know. you can't just sit back and expect things to happen. but when looking at certain aspect of life - like marriage, education, career - you have to work for it...but if something is meant to work out then it always will.
and i mean, i of all people am living proof of that. i screwed up big time in my first year of university - but i got through everything. and now, if i hadn't screwed up i wouldn't have the job i have now and i wouldn't of met the amazing group of friends that i have either.
i just need to remind myself that everything does happen for a reason...and just because i want a piece of my life to fall into place now, i have to keep faith that things will eventually fall into place...with my own effort.
i mean even look at school - its not like i got through relying on faith that i would pass all my exams...obviously i had to work for it and it did work out! and same with my career - i didn't just have faith that i would land the perfect job (*knock on wood*) - i had to work for it and even work at a shitty job until the perfect job showed up. and it HAS to be the same with men. there has to be something good out there for me, i need to make an effort to find - but it will fall into place.
i just find myself feeling sorry for myself sometimes because i'm single (as usual) and i haven't met a guy who i would consider serious boyfriend potential in a long time. and i look around and i see the couples and i hear all the stupid love songs that are out there, and it makes me feel sorry for myself. i guess thats the case in any situation though. i for sure felt sorry for myself when i was screwing up in school and same with when i couldn't land the right job...but it did work out. and based on history i have to keep faith that the missing piece of my life will work out as well. i have to stop feeling sorry for myself. i need to make more of an honest effort and keep faith that things will work out the way they're meant to work out.
i've always always been an impatient person - in every aspect. waiting for anything gets on my nerve unless i'm not in a rush. and i've always been in a rush. i've wanted to finish school off asap, i wanted the right job lined up for myself asap, i wanted a good salary and a promotion asap, and even with men...at this point in my life (and i've felt this before) i feel like i want a man - even a specific person at times - and i want it now. i have to work for it. i have to work on myself and work on the situation....and then have faith.
ramble ramble.
i'm out.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
global warming
i'm not a huge participant of the move to "end global warming" - but i do small things here and there. i try to recycle as much as i can, i always bring my own mug when getting coffee/tea, i don't use water bottles blah blah blah.
so this morning i was reading the paper on the train, i came across this article about a recent successful space trip and how it was a historic moment in the area of space research. um. wth? its bad enough we're fucking our own environment but we're also putting in millions of dollars towards a space program so we can fuck the universe's atmosphere as well (and making our own environment even worse at the same time)?? all this push towards preventing global warming and what we can do to save the environment - yet we send rocket ships into space for what reason? so we can figure out if there was at some point life on another planet? who the fuck cares? lets worry about the planet we live on.
if i had any power what so ever i'd stop this space investigation nonsense. stop global warming fools.
so this morning i was reading the paper on the train, i came across this article about a recent successful space trip and how it was a historic moment in the area of space research. um. wth? its bad enough we're fucking our own environment but we're also putting in millions of dollars towards a space program so we can fuck the universe's atmosphere as well (and making our own environment even worse at the same time)?? all this push towards preventing global warming and what we can do to save the environment - yet we send rocket ships into space for what reason? so we can figure out if there was at some point life on another planet? who the fuck cares? lets worry about the planet we live on.
if i had any power what so ever i'd stop this space investigation nonsense. stop global warming fools.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
mending ties
my parents have never been the type to keep "real" friends or have close relationships with any of our relatives. on my dads side, we keep relationships very formal. when we're needed to help out somewhere, we do - but we don't go beyond that. we don't hang out at my cousins place just for the sake of hanging out. my mom hates celebrating anything on my dads side, because she feels anytime they're showing their happiness their intent is to rub our face in the fact that they're celebrating something we don't have.
my mom is more genuine with people on her own side, but everyone is so dispersed over the world that we don't get to hang out with that side at all unless there's a wedding happening.
and personally - i think it sucks. i get along great with my uncles and aunts on both sides and with my cousins who live close by. and i hate that i can't really hang out with them or celebrate with them (because i'm genuinely happy for people when something good happens to them). i can't go behind my parents backs and become close with my relatives - but i feel like thats something i want to do once i have "my own" family.
i'd like to think i'm a genuine person - and i like have real relationships in my life. and i have that with my friends, but not so much with any of my relatives. its weird to think that my mom doesn't have any real friends that she can trust. maybe its the complex the older indian generation has that people will judge you if you tell them the truth. so to preserve the idea of having a perfect family - you can't let your friends or relatives get too close.
it's something i want to fix...but i can't do it right now.
my mom is more genuine with people on her own side, but everyone is so dispersed over the world that we don't get to hang out with that side at all unless there's a wedding happening.
and personally - i think it sucks. i get along great with my uncles and aunts on both sides and with my cousins who live close by. and i hate that i can't really hang out with them or celebrate with them (because i'm genuinely happy for people when something good happens to them). i can't go behind my parents backs and become close with my relatives - but i feel like thats something i want to do once i have "my own" family.
i'd like to think i'm a genuine person - and i like have real relationships in my life. and i have that with my friends, but not so much with any of my relatives. its weird to think that my mom doesn't have any real friends that she can trust. maybe its the complex the older indian generation has that people will judge you if you tell them the truth. so to preserve the idea of having a perfect family - you can't let your friends or relatives get too close.
it's something i want to fix...but i can't do it right now.
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