the natural way

these days, how often do relationships ever develop naturally? we're bombarded with rules and timelines and some pre-defined expectations so much so, that a lot of the time we force things to happen and if they don't happen, we assume things just won't work out.

and how organically do we even meet new people? i know for sure i can't say i do! most of the guys i'm meeting these days is online. not through friends or at parties - its online. and to be quite honest, i miss those days where you happen to bump into someone and strike up a converesation with them...and then they actually have to make an effort outside of finding you on facebook to get in touch with you. i don't know if its because of my age and more (indian) people are in the online dating world to specifically get married - so tend to feel rushed. everyone has a set of questions they want to run through and there's a whole set of rules (as i've been told anyways) around dating, online or not. if he doesn't call you within a week then he's not that interested, or if he doesn't call/text after a date that means it didn't go well. if he wants to meet up with you on the weekend, he has to ask you before the wednesday before the weekend for you to say yes. and we keep believing that these things need to happen in order to find out as soon as possible if the relationship is going to turn into something serious or not.

and now that i'm venting about this, it honestly is so prominent in the indian dating community. i'm kinda-ish talking to someone right now and i was getting very impatient with him if he didn't call or get in touch...and i kept putting myself down thinking that he's probably just not that into me. but you know what - i like the pace this relationship is going. its building its substance before jumping into definite - and its refreshing!!!!

looking back, i can definitely say that when i was in university i did meet people more organically and maybe once you're out of university, the reality is that meeting people that way is less common. but honestly...i want to take a down a notch. i want things to happen slowly.

i was told by a guy friend and some girl friends that on the 3rd date with my current dude, if he doesn't make a move then he's not into me in that way. and now that i'm thinking about it - i don't care if he does or not. that's not going to make me judge the way he feels about me. i mean if he did that would not only be great, but also it would make it very clear that he was into me...but i mean if that happens on the 4th or 5th or even 6th date...i think that clearly goes beyond some "rules"...but i'm ok with that. it totally feels more natural that way.

wow...i think i just had a revelation!